i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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