why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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