I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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