Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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