This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
