apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize