I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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