the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Oh god it's open bar.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
