That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
