He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
