oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
