I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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