can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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