before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
