She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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