my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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