what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
