I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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