should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
