I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize