i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
