Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
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That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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