I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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