Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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