I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
