what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
