my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
