after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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