I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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