Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
