Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
