we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
