You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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