you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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