he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i came on her dog
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize