dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
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i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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