I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
