I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
