Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
