I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
