The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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