Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
