I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I would ride that face into the sunset
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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