he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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