Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
