You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
