i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
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