I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize