Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
