so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
