Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
