just tell him i said nine months
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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