He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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