1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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