that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
