He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
