my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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