you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
