i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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