S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
