I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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