before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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